Well, the cell phone is still working! LOL And the best part is that I haven’t had to charge it since the whole microwave thing! It’s been on since Thursday, and it’s still at full charge. Don’t know if the micro waving it has anything to do with it, but hey, I’m not going to complain about it.
Well, I’m not going to complain about the cell phone anyway.
But kiddies, I am going to rant and rave a little bit. I’ve got something to say and I’m going to take this opportunity to say it!
Maybe someone out there can explain a few things to me. Then again, maybe not, who knows.
Anyway, what I’m wondering is why people do such stupid, inconsiderate, hurtful, angry, spiteful things to one another? I mean really, what the hell is wrong with people?
I have several people ask me why they don’t see me out and about too much anymore. Well, I’ll tell you why. I stay home, in my little house on Pine St., with my fur-babies, my TV, my computer and my writing. I read, I cook, I watch television, I write and I only see the people that I want to see, when I want to see them. (Well, that’s not entirely true, because there are some people that I wish I could get to see more often, but time and circumstances prevent it.) What I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to deal with bullshit, so for the most part I don’t. At least I don’t unless it’s forced on me, and then I’m not the nicest person around.
I don’t understand why people can say they are your friend, they can act like a friend, be there in good times and bad, call or come over and spend time or whatever and then…..out of the clear blue sky……..they run their mouths about something that was confidential or they start rumors based on half truths, or else they just stop talking to you even though you call them or try to get a hold of them, and you have no idea why they have done what they have done.
I have a “friend” (yes, I am using that word loosely) that I trusted, a person that I thought was a good person who shared some of my beliefs and ideas. Then, for what reason I don’t know, she decides that she doesn’t have time for me, although she’s on the computer or out doing whatever. She can’t return a call, even when I leave a message. She doesn’t bother to call or even send an email that isn’t some stupid thing she’s forwarding. I don’t know what I’ve done, actually I don’t know that I’ve done anything. I get the feeling that she doesn’t know what I’ve done either, but that’s another story. Anyway, this person has hurt me and I, trying to be a better person that I actually am, haven’t confronted her or even said much about it.
Well ladies and gentlemen, guess what? I’m sick and tired of trying to be a better person. I am who I am and right now I’m pissed!!!
Then there is this other person that only wants to spend time with me when they want to spend time with me. If I’m busy, or if I don’t feel like doing whatever it is they want to do, this person gets an attitude!! WTF?? I’m not allowed to be busy? It’s not like I call them and want to spend time with them and they just drop everything in order to do so. But that’s what is expected of me. I should drop everything and just do whatever simply that’s because this person WANTS me to??
One word answer here….NO! (Actually it’s a two-word answer, but I’m trying to keep the profanity to a minimum.)
So, that’s two of the people that are inconsiderate and spiteful, and I’m one of the angry ones at this point.
There is also the guy that is in a relationship (or marriage…not going to tell you which) and the woman he is with loves him. For whatever reason he wants not only her, but another woman as well. No, he doesn’t want to leave the first woman, but he wants the second woman to be “on call” whenever he has time for her and if she isn’t, if she spends time with friends or has something else to do, he gets pissed. What really sucks is that woman number one is not necessarily a bad person, but she is DEFINITELY a negative person. She whines, she bitches, she blames others for her actions and she is never satisfied with what she has so she uses who ever she can in order to get what she wants.
Woman number two is a cool person. She doesn’t ask for much, just someone to spend some time with, go a few places with and enjoy the company of. She doesn’t want marriage, hell; I don’t even think she even wants a boyfriend. I know she said that she’s had about enough, but I’ve heard that before. I know she’s miserable and, for what reason I don’t know, she’s not doing anything about it. What I don’t know is why she is allowing herself to get caught up in all the damn drama!!
Now, before you jump to conclusions, woman number two is NOT me, although I’ve been there before.
There are so many things I don’t understand. But there is only one that I want to know.
WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE?
Why does someone throw away 30 years of his or her life in order to “scratch an itch”? Didn’t the person they have been with all these years ever scratch that itch? Why isn’t that person scratching it now??
Why does someone turn their back on their friend? Wasn’t that person always there regardless of what else was going on in their life? Isn’t that person worth anything? Or is it as simple as the fact that the person who turned away is selfish and can’t stand the fact that their friend is actually happy?
Why would a man stay with someone out of pity? Doesn’t he realize that sooner or later it will come to light that they didn’t actually love the person they are with? Doesn’t he realize that pity isn’t an emotion to build a relationship on? Does he not care that the woman will eventually be hurt more than she would be if he just told the truth?
Why does a woman allow herself to be used and cast aside like she is worthless? Doesn’t she know that she is worth more than gold? Is she so lonely and afraid that she will accept any type of attention in order to feel like she’s loved?
Does anyone out there have the answers to these questions? Am I correct in thinking that the one thing that is missing in all of these circumstances is LOVE?
For such a little word LOVE carries a lot of weight. It can mean passion, or desire, or concern. It doesn’t have to be sexual, or even romantic. You can love a friend, a sweetheart, a wife, a child or a dog. You can love the person next door in the sense that you worry about something happening to them or are concerned for a situation that they are involved in.
I don’t understand why we, as human beings, can’t admit to the longing to be loved. I don’t mean romantic love necessarily; I mean love as in being important to another human being. And I really don’t understand how we got to the place where we don’t care about other inhabitants of this planet.
If anyone can help me to understand, please do so. Because I’m getting to the point where I don’t even want to see another person. If I stay totally alone, I don’t have to worry about how I feel versus how someone else feels. I don’t have to worry about someone trying to use to get something they want or simply to keep them from being alone.
Anyway, enough of my bitching. I know that I probably won’t get many comments on this, although there are a few of you that read and comment almost every time. I know that very few, if any, of you will bother reading this entry to this point, let alone try to answer me.
I guess I’m just looking to be reassured, even though I know that there isn’t anyone that is assured enough to reassure me.