Monday, October 24, 2011


SOOOOOO, as some of you (all of you??) may know, I can be sort of vulgar, and I have a very twisted sense of humor!  There in lays the problem!

I set up a "fictional character" page in the wonderful land of FAKEBOOK (also known as Facebook) in order to NOT offend some of my friends that don't appreciate my sense of humor, sense of the absurd and down right orneriness!  On that page, which has a HUGE warning that says "OVER 18 ONLY!  DO NOT ENTER if you are under 18 or a PRUDE", I post stuff that I don't post on the personal page.  Some of it is down right awful, but not violent or overly sexual....mostly poking fun at the absurdity of people and the way they act/speak. 

Anyway....Last night I was spammed by some asshole that thought it would be cool to post something about a new porn site that is opening.  As soon as I saw that post, I deleted and blocked him.  This morning someone thought that something I had posted was tasteless and sick, which it was, and they reported me.  Okay, that's their right.  BUT, it is my right to post what I want as long as it isn't in violation of the policies that are listed with FB. 


Now the fact that I'm blocked from FB doesn't really bother me that badly.  What bothers me is that the TROLLS out there randomly pick someone (in this case ME) and go troll their page, purposely LOOKING for something that offends them!!  TO ME THAT IS OFFENSIVE!!! 

What has this country, hell the world, come to that people are allowed to determine what is or isn't offensive?  I don't post anything graphic, I don't insult religions or ethnic groups, I don't pick out ANY groups to insult or make fun of!  I find cartoons and/or stupid signs and post them!  I make fun of the HUMAN RACE and the depths of stupidity that we have fallen to!!

People that purposely look around for something that offends them need to realize that they are DOING THE SAME THING THE NAZIS DID IN GERMANY!  NO ONE has the right, not by law, to decide what is or isn't offensive. The courts can decide, the majority can decide, but NOT ONE PERSON!  And for FB to block my account because of ONE complaint....that's friggin' ridiculous!

The person that decided that I offended her was neither ASKED nor INVITED  to come to my page nor was she SPAMMED.  She came under her own volition, probably because she was looking for someone's cheerio's to piss in!  Unfortunately she choose my little corner of the world as the perfect place to pee!

There are MANY things out there that offend me.  YES, I do speak my mind about them from time to time, but I don't go looking for things that may or may not be offensive.  I am not the WORD POLICE!!  If I were there are MANY things that would be BANNED from LIFE, not just from FAKEBOOK!

Somehow I have been left out of the "HOLIER THAN THOU" club, yet another thing that I am thankful to God for, and I don't EVER plan on trying to gain admittance!  I believe that as long as you are NOT promoting hate of ANY type then you have a right to say what you think or repeat something that you find humorous.

My page went from having 4 people to having over a thousand in just under14 hours!  MOST all of the people that have been there have liked what I say/post and they check back a few times a day in order to see what type of trouble I am in now.  THIS ONE SHOULD REALLY CRACK THEM UP!  And, unfortunately, it will also piss most of them off.  That's the one sad fact that can not be overlooked.  This person's actions has affected many more people than her intended target (me) and they will be angry and some may say somethings that even I don't agree with.  But everyone has to live with the consequences of their included.

Okay, done bitchin!

Y'all have a good one!!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Waking up to a tear stained pillow.....

I woke up this morning to a tear stained pillow.  I lay there, my eyes closes, wishing I were still asleep, because when I’m asleep I feel no pain.

I wish my Mother were still alive, I need to feel her arms around me.  But she passed over to the other side many years ago, and no amount of wishing will ever bring her back.  I need her right now, I need to hear her voice, I need to feel her love, but all I have is a house empty of people in which four legged creatures run and play, obvious to the dark, tortured thoughts that roam around in my head.

My Mother and I fought a lot, hell, we didn’t fight, we waged war against one another.  For many years just being in close proximity of the two of us was enough to cause damage to your ears, and possible to your sensibilities.  I never understood, and still to this day don’t understand, why I was bounced around so much when I was growing up.  I’m a Mother, I have four children of my own, and I couldn’t send even one of those children away to live with someone else when they were just a child with no understanding of life or how things should be in a family.  But through it all I knew that my Mother, although she could be hard and cold and distant, loved me.  And when I became an adult, I visited her as often as I could, making certain that she knew I loved her and needed her in my life.

I have four children, and I love each of them for being my children.  But the are adults now and they make choices, or do things, that I don’t think is right.  I don’t always like the people they have become, I don’t always agree with the choices they make or the things that they do.  But I love them, each of them, with a love that I can’t begin to explain. 

I am proud of my children, regardless of the things that they do that hurt me or that I disagree with.

I am proud of my oldest son for taking care of his family, for working hard even though he is on a different shift every week or two, and for loving his sons and being there for them.  He is a good man, a good husband and most of all a good Father.  I know he is busy, I know money is tight and he can’t afford to travel much, being the Father of three sons takes a lot of your time and most of your money.  I can accept that, and although it hurts me to never get to see him or his wife or my precious grandsons, the pain is not a sharp, bitter pain, it is a pain accompanied with pride for the man he has become.

My oldest daughter has caused me some emotions that I can’t begin to explain.  She is the oldest of them all and I fought to have and to keep her.  Although she drives me crazy on more occasions than I care to admit, she holds a special place in my heart that none other could ever fill.  And while I’m not always proud of the decisions she makes, I do try to understand why and accept that she is doing what she feels is the best.  She is the Mother of four wonderful children and has made some decisions that I would never have made, but she is strong, she is beautiful and she is, at the core of it all, a good Mom.  I am proud that she has left an abusive relationship after many years I just wish she could have done it differently.  She causes me pain from time to time, but she is, in many ways, a woman that I admire and one that I like.  I love her for being who she is, even if I don’t always agree with her.  I would love to see her and the grand-kids, but life has taken that possibility from me for now.

My youngest daughter is, although she wouldn’t admit it, more like me than her siblings.  She has a tender heart and, unfortunately, it shows more than it should.  She’s not afraid to cry, although she gets angry with herself when she does, she works hard and she knows where she is going in life, or at least she has a general sense of the direction in which she is heading.  She’s a junior in college and she’s planning on going on for a higher degree, perhaps even a doctorate.  She’s tenacious, she’s funny, she has a sense of self that is unwavering.  I am so proud of her and all that she is trying to accomplish.  I miss seeing her; I wish that I had a way to go to her, or that her schedule allowed her to come home more often.  But she works hard, she studies harder and she’s a very busy woman, but she calls when she can and she always makes me laugh.   She and I share secrets that no one else is privy to, we will hear or see something that will make us laugh even though everyone else thinks we are crazy.  She is my baby girl and, no matter how old she grows, how important she becomes, she will always be my Mouse and I will always think of her as the baby.

Then there is my youngest son.  What can I say about him?  Well, I’m proud of his talent, he’s a very talented songwriter and singer/musician.  He makes a good living and he has a nice wife.  He is the reason I woke up on a tear stained pillow.  I won’t say anything more about him, because I’m angry and hurt and I don’t want to say something that I can never take back.  I will say that I love him and he will always the little boy that sang “Barned in the USA” to the radio every time we went somewhere.  I love him. 

I realize that I am damaged.  I realize that I have expectations that will never be fulfilled, a need for love that causes me to make mistakes that cause me pain and a too tender heart that gets damaged at even the tiniest slight.  But I have a core of steel, a will to go on and a never-ending enthusiasm that gets me through even the toughest of times.

But there are days, days like today, when the darkness threatens to swallow me whole, leaving behind not a trace of the woman I try to be.  Days like today I feel like the hollowed out shell of a Jack O’ Lantern sitting on a porch in October.  It looks as it should, it will entertain you, it will keep you company with it’s warm glow on a cold Autumn night, but it’s empty and hollow inside.  The smiling face and warm eyes are only an illusion, a fantasy spun from emptiness and the light from a candle that will soon burn out.

I am that Jack O Lantern, I am empty and hollow inside, there is nothing left.  The light that used to be mine has been replaced with an artificial glow that I give to those that expect it.  The smile isn’t real, nor is the light in the eyes.  My season, like that of the Jack O Lantern, will pass too quickly and fade into memory.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The splendor of Autumn

The beauty of the mountains splotchy with the colors of Autumn, the way the light plays off of the water, the looking glass clear reflections that seem so surreal, touch my very soul.  There is something about the splendor of the mountains that awakens the child in me.  I feel younger, I feel invincible……I feel alive.

There is nothing like Autumn in the South, particularly in the mountains, hills, dales and hollers of West Virginia.  The Oaks, the Poplars, the Sycamores and the Pines each add their own unique signature to the hillsides as they insist on one last blast of glory before fading into the rest of Winter.  The Pines, whose beauty shines year round, display such splendid hues of green they seem to be competing with the amber, gold, auburn, cinnamon, and scarlet of the other less fortunate trees.

Even the water seems to want to play with the hues and textures of Autumn.  The greens and browns of the underwater plants and mosses seem to burst forth from crystalline water in an understated symphony for the eyes.  One only has to pause for a moment and look into a reflecting pool of water to see the almost imperceptible struggle between the underwater world and the rapidly changing world of trees.
The scenery changes so rapidly that it is possible to miss some of the raging glory of colors unless one is diligent in their observations.  Only a few days ago I had the pleasure of taking some wonderful Autumn pictures, yesterday I once again traveled the very same roads only to find that the palette of colors have once again shifted in the continuing dance of death that we call Fall.

Here are a few of my new pictures:



Until next time, Dodadaghovi.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Things my mother never taught me, but should have!

As I grow older (and older, and older) I realize that there are a few things that my Mother should have taught me, but for some reason she never did!  When I have those "Ah-hah" moments, I pause and wonder if I taught my children all of the things that they will need to live a successful, "I refuse to pay a plumber" type of life.

You see,  I recently moved.  I'm living in a trailer deep in a hollow out in the middle of nowhere in West Virginia.  It's not all that bad, except for the "not having a way to the store because I don't have a car" thing.  The dogs have plenty of room to run, I can shoot squirrel from my back porch and most people have no idea where I am these days (I count the last one as a plus!).

The only thing I can really complain about is the fact that I have been having issues with water leaks!  Lots and lots of water leaks......leaks from the pipes, leaking faucets, and, the one that is really driving me crazy, a leaking bathtub drain!

Hopefully I have all the leaking pipes fixed, and my landlord is suppose to fix the faucets, but he lives in another state and won't be here for a week or so.  The one that is driving me crazy (crazier?) is the leaking bathtub drain.  For those of you that have lived in a trailer, you realize that there is basically no way to reach the bathroom pipes unless the whole kit and caboodle has been redone so that the pipes are accessible  This trailer has not been redone!  The leak is right where the actual drain in the tub connects to the short pipe under the tub, yes folks there isn't much room under a tub in the in a trailer.  I have tried to caulk it with silicon.....only it wasn't the correct type of I had to get a different type of silicon.  Once I had gotten the correct type silicon I had to contort myself into a flat pretzel (not only is there not much room to work on bathroom pipes in a trailer, it sort of difficult to stretch out in a comfortable manner to work under the tub) in order to try and caulk the right pipe with the right caulk!  It wasn't easy, but I got it done.

Now, as I sit here typing my little heart out, there is a small part of my brain (yeah, I know, I have a small brain anyway, so it must be a really small part) wondering what is going to happen when I go in to take my shower.  You see, I've put off showering this morning because I don't want to spend the next two hours using my carpet cleaner to suck excess water out of the carpet in my tiny bathroom.  It wouldn't be so bad, but I have to move the washer in order to get all of the water....and when I move the washer I have no where to sit the carpet cleaner except in the bathtub which causes a problem because the water is on the FLOOR, not in the tub!!  Besides, when I move the washer I am trapped in the bathroom unless I crawl out over the damn thing.  And of course, if I move the washer someone will either call or knock on the door, meaning that I HAVE to crawl over the stupid washer, usually spraining, tearing or bruising along on the way!! 

So, what does all of this have to do with "things my mother should have taught me, but didn't"?  Well, Mom taught me to cook, and how to sew.  She taught me how to sight in a rifle, where the best kill shot is on a deer and the easiest way to skin a squirrel.  She taught me how to rip down old "horse hair" plaster, put up new roll insulation and then paneling.  She taught me how to change an alternator in a 1968 Chevy Impala and that you should never leave on a trip until you've checked the fluids, the lights and the tire pressure.  She taught me the importance of believing in God, the joy of singing in Church and that a woman never wears slacks in a Church house.  (She was sort of old fashioned on that one.)

But she never taught me how to deal with leaking pipes or how to contort myself into a "flat pretzel" in order to caulk under a tub!!  She would have had Dad fix it....or else called someone else to do it....but she never would have called a plumber!!  She would have washed with the water hose in the yard before she called a plumber.  So I guess  you could say she taught me how to be stubborn??  Or would that be tenacious?  Or thrifty?

Other things my mother never taught me, but should to NOT fall in the river when you are trying to get some good reflection pictures, the best way to get rid of a copperhead that lives under your porch without being bitten, how many paw-paws it takes to make paw-paw bread (she didn't like paw-paw bread) and what to do when your fire alarm keeps going off and there is no fire (and the batteries are good, and the button isn't stuck).

I've come into contact with many things that have perplexed me, many things that have made me wonder "Why didn't my Mother teach what to do in a situation like this?".  But each time I do have one of those "Oh, shit, now what" moments, I use the one thing that my Mother DID teach me.......A woman can take care of herself, and her family, with dignity, grace and humor, no matter what the circumstances are. 

So I'm off to see if there will be a massive amount of water in the carpet around the tub after I take my shower.  Even if there is, I know I'll be able to deal with it, hopefully with a little dignity, a little grace and a lot of humor!

Thank you Mom!!!  I love you and I miss you more every day!


I hate having a sinus infection.......

So, I didn't do anything I wanted to do today or tonight!  It sucks when I feel like the top of my head is going to blow off, splattering what little brains I have left all over my cream colored ceiling!!

As you may be able to tell, I have a sinus infection....and I'm miserable!!  I spent most of the day sleeping, or at least trying to, between yapping dogs and ringing phones it was almost "Mission Impossible" (literal interpretation here, not a reference to an old '70 television show!)  I didn't finally managed a short nap around 5:30 or so.  I was suppose to go to the Lion's Club Bluegrass Sing tonight, but when my ride showed up at 6:30 I was still asleep (not for long) and grumpier than a short armed monkey with poop stuck to it's butt!!  Needless to say, I stayed home......chased away my company, ate some chicken, drank some coffee and chased it down with Tylenol Sinus Formula.    (A short word about the a fore mentioned Sinus did about as much for my headache as the short arms did for the other words it just pissed me off and didn't relieve the discomfort!!)

So, I've been sitting in the dark, wishing for a cure for sinus headaches and plotting my revenge against any and all things I'm allergic to.  (In case  you're wondering, allergies are ALWAYS at the root of any sinus infection I have EVER had.  So the revenge thing was just mental masturbation, but it was entertaining!)  I finally gave up on the sitting in the dark and plotting against things that I can in no effect way eradicate, so I decided to work on some photos that I had taken over the summer and just sort of pushed off into the dark recesses of my hard-drive! (When I say "work on" I mean basically crop, straighten and try to fix any crappy ones that happened to slip by.)

Here are a few of the ones I haven't posted or shown to anyone.  Hope y'all like em!!!

Oh yeah, I believe I have the problem with folks not being able to post comments fixed.....hopefully.  Try and leave me one, if it doesn't work, let me know by email and I will try and figure out the problem.

Anyway....on to the photos!!

It's amazing how much beauty people miss simply because the have their noses in the air,
looking for something better!

This one sort of looks like a jelly fish in the ocean!


Funky looking spaghetti stuff!  LOL  It's beautiful!

I was amazed by the size of these toadstools!  The turtle seemed to have the same reaction!

This tiny little guy called attention to himself with his glorious show of yellow!

I thought this looked like a wonderful habitat for 
"Little People" (woodland fairies)

These two looked like lovers having a spat!

The skies before and after a storm are always so beautiful!

I love the color purple!!

Well, that's all for now!  Hope you enjoyed at least one or two of the photos!!


Saturday, October 8, 2011

Photo montague

Had a wonderful day yesterday! I feel in the river! LOL But here are some awesome pictures to prove what a great day it was!!