Thursday, July 26, 2012
I admit that I have a new addiction. It hasn't become a problem as of yet, but that is simply because I haven't invested the money to actually have the item of my addiction.
You see, it's like this. I realize that I'm 52 years old, I know I shouldn't have all of the body issue problems that I have, but what can you do, right? Anyway, there is this infomercial on television that I am addicted to watching. That's strange in and of it's self, but the infomercial is for the Insanity Workout!! Yeah, that's right, a 60 day workout that will either kill you or else get you into the best shape you've ever been in your life. I'm hoping for the later result, but let's be realistic, okay.
Like I said, I'm 52 years old. That's not exactly a spring chicken, but I'm not entirely over the hill yet either (although I do believe I'm on the down side of it). For me to be seriously thinking about ordering these dvds and actually attempting to do a workout that thousands of people years younger than I am could not do speaks volumes about my sanity! (Okay E. stop laughing now)
I'm not at all sure that I can do this stupid workout, it looks like some type of medieval torture retinue, but, if the result are actually as amazing as they seem to be I'm willing to give it a try. (Not to mention that there is a money back guarantee if you find you can't do it.) So, I'm going to order INSANITY WORKOUT and give it a shot. It should be here in about a week or so, I'll let you know when I get it and how things go. (Y'all can encourage me, at least it would be nice if you did! LOL)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
For those of you that don't know, West Virginia was hit with a massive wind/thunder storm on the evening of June 29th. That storm left over 680,000 homes/businesses without power. Now that in an of itself is bad enough, but some of us were left powerless (in many ways) for over two weeks!! For those of you that DON'T realize, living in the hills of West Virginia, in the country, no power means NO WATER, yes folks, you need power to run a water pump!! Surprise, surprise!!
To make things even worse, there was NO ICE in a four county area!!! Yeah, you need power to keep ice from melting, who knew? And the gasoline supply DISAPPEARED the day after the storm....people with generators NEEDED the gas, and there were a bunch of idiots that were just wanting to "top off the tank" just in case the power didn't come on!! WTF?
I didn't have power for 13 days, then they fixed the lines and I had power for about 34 hours and it was off again. The second time was only for around 16 hours, but after the ordeal I and many others had survived, that 16 hours was a horrid reminder of what it was like to survive the Summer of Darkness!!
As I sit here now, listening to the thunder booming in the distance, I am left with the nagging dread that our Summer of Darkness is not over. We are suppose to have thunderstorms for the next 3 - 4 days and that means lightening and probably strong winds. Since our wonderful power company, Mon Power, refuses to cut right of ways, it probably means that we will have to endure at least a few more days sitting and sweating in the sweltering heat. I hope I'm wrong, but I wouldn't bet that I am!!
I try to find humor in every situation, but this situation has stripped most of my humor from me. But I'll try to come up with something to make you at least giggle.
THINGS TO DO IN WEST VIRGINIA DURING A POWER OUTAGE IN JULY
On those few days when it does rain you should do the following:
2. Pray the rains lasts till it’s dark so you can strip down naked and take a “nature shower” on
3. Sit in doorway and watch rain
5. Pray the rain cools it down
6. Give up and try to sleep in your 100 degree bedroom
So now to give you the giggle......... My friend Esther gave me a one use grill, you know the kind, they are made of foil and have charcoal that has been treated....you just light it and let it burn down, then twenty minutes later you have a nice bed of coals to cook on. Anyway, Esther gave me this grill and I had some hot dogs and some canned chili....so I lit the grill, let it burn down, opened the chili and put it on the grill to get warm. Then it began to thunder......and thunder.....and thunder.....and RAIN.
Now for those of you that DON'T realize, charcoal doesn't burn that well in the rain!! So, I, being the crafty little bitch that I am, grabbed my HUGE umbrella, ran out to the yard, opened the umbrella and sat it on the ground with a rock keeping the handle in place, and then I proceeded to cook my chili, grill my hot dogs and eat supper, sitting half under an umbrella in the pouring rain!! Necessity really IS the Mother of invention!!
We were FINALLY able to get ice about a week after the lights went out. That made it possible to actually KEEP some lunch meat and stuff cold!! Let me tell you, lunch meat that has sat in the cooler for two hours smells SO much better than ANY type of meat that has been in the heat (well over 100 for five days in a row) for ANY length of time!!!
WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR LUNCH MEAT HAS GONE "OFF":
1. Smells much like your oldest sons tennis shoes after a long, hot game of basketball
2. Cats try to hork up a furball instead of tasting
3. Dogs gag at the scent
Now I NEVER had any of the above happen during this entire ordeal, but then again, I didn't buy more than a few pieces of lunch meat at a time....it was one of those One Meal At A Time Purchase things for me! It was expensive, but I didn't have to listen to the cats horking!!
On the serious side, I want to personally thank the Emergency responders here in Calhoun County, as well as the Head of the Emergency Management Team, Kathy Wood. I would also like to say thank you to the men and woman of the National Guard who delivered water and MRE's to people in the outlaying area. Without all of those wonderful people, who gave of their time and energy and worked tirelessly to make sure the citizens of this county were safe, many people would have lost their lives! Days of 100 plus temps, no water or food would have killed more than a few of us!!
Thank you all and God Bless you!!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
That's not too unusual, unless of course you consider the fact that we've had 80 degree weather already this year!! Yes, 80 degrees in March, 39 degrees in April!! We have flowers that have bloomed, trees that have budded, berries that were already starting to bud out.....and last night it was all of 28 degrees!!!
It's already flooded twice this Spring, and now there is no rain in sight!
Hot/cold, wet/dry....hmmmmm, I do believe I understand what Mother Nature is going through!!
You see, I'm a middle aged woman and I understand the changes that take place in an older woman's life! Mother Nature is going through MENOPAUSE!!
Yup, that explains it all. The heat fluctuations, the wild swings in moisture, the wondering what will happen next. Yup, it's definitely Menopause!!
I actually feel sorry for the old girl. I can totally relate to feeling as though you've been doused in hot pepper oil and then dropped in lava. The feeling of your insides heating up, not burning like indigestion, but actually heating up, and that feeling spreading from the core of your body to your legs, your arms, you feet, your hands, you fingers, your toes. Then, for no known reason, your skin feels as though it's been dipped in ice water, your skin moves of it's own accord, leaving a dense trail of chill bumps that cause your nipples to tighten and your hair to move around like demented snakes!
No wonder we've been having thunderstorms, tornadoes and high winds. I know it pisses me off when I have all of the above symptoms. But of course I couldn't cause twisting winds to tear a 20 mile trail of destruction, but still, I can understand! At different times in my life I have actually felt as though I could cause a 20 mile trail of destruction! (We are ALL lucky that I can't!!!)
Anyway, it seems that Mother Nature is having a mid life crisis of some type and we, the poor creatures that walk this earth, are paying for it! Maybe she'll calm down soon......or maybe we should put in a call to Father Time and let him deal with it!!
Until next time, stay safe and be sure to let your loved ones know you love them.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Anyway, today I'm going to give blood. Not only is it a good thing to do, but maybe the Red Cross will quit calling every day! For some reason they seem to think I should just install a tap and let them drain it at will. I get at least three calls a week from the Red Cross. They've even called me the day after I gave a pint!! WTH??? I'm beginning to think that I've created a monster!!
You see, I have "good blood" (don't ask me, I'm just quoting the lady at the RC) and they WANT it!!! YES, they are addicted to my "good blood". Of course, the fact that they can get a pint from me in under 7 minutes doesn't hurt any. NO, it's not that my blood is thin, it's that my veins are "good" (once again, don't ask, I have no idea).
After getting three calls in one week from the blood suckers at the RC, I began to wonder if perhaps there was some blood hungry monster somewhere who could only be satisfied by MY blood!! Perhaps it's all the spicy/sweet foods that I eat! Maybe he/she has a sweet tooth (fang?) and craves this good old red blooded southern sugar addicts blood!! Or maybe he/she is a Oriental blood sucker and, because I eat soooooo much Oriental food (the real stuff, not just the Americanized junk you get at China Gate) I remind him/her of the good old times in the Qin Dynasty!
Maybe I should eat more garlic??
Or maybe they are using my good old American blood, with it's liberal mix of Native American, Black, Irish and German, to create some Super Race of smart asses!! Just imagine it, the world over run with wise cracking smart asses with huge vocabularies!!! What a world that would be!! You would have to watch every word you say lest you leave a huge opening for some sarcastic insult to be flung your way!! Oh the horror, the horror!!!
Even worse than that, they could be using my blood to make some type of night dwelling hybrid that survives solely on dark chocolate, peanut butter, spicy food, sweet tea, classic rock and nicotine!!! These dark entities would creep around your house searching for cigarettes and vinyl!!
Okay, enough of that!
Giving blood is a very important thing to do! You could save a life! You could save MY life (Stop laughing! You know you'd miss me if I were gone!!) Thousands of people need blood every day! It's the only truly renewable resource we have!!! No matter how many times we give blood, these amazing bodies of ours will make more!
So, if you have a few minutes, you are a healthy person NOT on multiple medications and you are feeling charitable, contact your local Red Cross and donate!!
Until next time!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Yes folks, I have a raging Sinus Infection, complete with the congestion AND running nose, the blinding headache and the disgusting YUCK draining down my throat every time I try to sleep!!! And, as if that isn't enough, I'm now sneezing because the trees are now budding out!!
Have you EVER woke up in the middle of the night, throat clogged with, well let's just use YUCK, head booming like a bass drum, nose running like a Sugar Tree, eyes aching and then begin to SNEEZE??? It's NOT a pretty sight......last night I sat up, hair poofed out around my head like an explosion of blond hair, eyes red and watery, making that noise we all make when we try to clear our throat and then a sneeze erupted from me with a sound something akin to an insane coyote in heat! My poor little Jack Russell Terror shot up from the chair, looked around wildly and began to bark, then whine, then bark. My "I should have been a Lion" Grey Kitten shot straight into the air like she had been shot from a cannon in a Circus and my Socially Handicapped Emmy started crying and whining like she does when Wacker, the large yellow Tom Cat From Hell, swats her.
Of course this tragic comedy that was taking place in my living room caused me to start to laugh, well, make a sound that passes for laughing when you wake up at 3 a.m. with a splitting headache, clogged pipes, watery eyes and a nose twitching from a pollen attack. My croak of laughter only served to piss off the varied and sunder animal life in my house. The Jack Russell Terror turned her back to me and actually growled (something she doesn't do very often), the Would Be Lion proceeded to run through the house as though she had a crawdad attached to her tail, the Socially Handicapped Pup started barking like an idiot and the Wacker Cat started to sharpen his claws while staring at me.......I know he was blaming me for the unwanted interruption of his middle of the night peace and plotting my bloody death should it ever happen again.
So, fearing for my life, or rather for my skin, I decided to get up and make me a cup of hot tea. Yeah, good, strong, hot tea will clear my throat and perhaps relax me. If nothing else, it will at the very least, keep the Wacker Cat from filleting me alive.
After fixing my tea, I stepped out onto the back porch to enjoy some fresh Spring air and listen to the Peepers scream, errr sing. It was the most enjoyable part of my day so far.
Anyway, I came back inside, browsed around the Internet, caught up on a couple of episodes of Dexter and pondered the meaning of life as a single middle aged woman (in other words dozed for a while, wondered why I wasn't in a relationship and then promptly celebrated that fact!).
You see, I'm just your average, middle aged woman, relatively happy with my life and perfectly satisfied with NOT having a relationship....well, other than with the various and sunder 4 legged "people" that are in my life at the moment. So all in all, Life is good!
Other than the fact that I'm suffering with a raging headache, stuffy head, running nose, red eyes, clogged throat, sneezing like a maniac and fearing for my life because of a large yellow cat with homicidal tendencies!
So, if you don't hear from me in a week or two, send a rescue team, a heavily armed rescue team!!