SUMMER OF DARKNESS

Well, it's the 17th of July and I've had electricity for almost three days in a row!!! Yay me!!

For those of you that don't know, West Virginia was hit with a massive wind/thunder storm on the evening of June 29th. That storm left over 680,000 homes/businesses without power. Now that in an of itself is bad enough, but some of us were left powerless (in many ways) for over two weeks!!  For those of you that DON'T realize, living in the hills of West Virginia, in the country, no power means NO WATER, yes folks, you need power to run a water pump!!  Surprise, surprise!!

To make things even worse, there was NO ICE in a four county area!!!  Yeah, you need power to keep ice from melting, who knew?  And the gasoline supply DISAPPEARED the day after the storm....people with generators NEEDED the gas, and there were a bunch of idiots that were just wanting to "top off the tank" just in case the power didn't come on!!  WTF?

I didn't have power for 13 days, then they fixed the lines and I had power for about 34 hours and it was off again. The second time was only for around 16 hours, but after the ordeal I and many others had survived, that 16 hours was a horrid reminder of what it was like to survive the Summer of Darkness!!

As I sit here now, listening to the thunder booming in the distance, I am left with the nagging dread that our Summer of Darkness is not over. We are suppose to have thunderstorms for the next 3 - 4 days and that means lightening and probably strong winds. Since our wonderful power company, Mon Power, refuses to cut right of ways, it probably means that we will have to endure at least a few more days sitting and sweating in the sweltering heat. I hope I'm wrong, but I wouldn't bet that I am!!

I try to find humor in every situation, but this situation has stripped most of my humor from me. But I'll try to come up with something to make you at least giggle.

THINGS TO DO IN WEST VIRGINIA DURING A POWER OUTAGE IN JULY

1. SWEAT

2. Drink water

3. SWEAT

4. Pour water over your head

5. Curse and scream at the power company

6. SWEAT

7. Drink water

8. Make a food run

9. Cry and scream when forced out of air conditioned car once you reach the store

10. Fight for the last loaf of bread and three slices of lunch meat

11. Stand in line for an hour

12. Fry butt cheeks sitting on car seat after waiting in line for an hour

13. SWEAT

14. Curse at the car AC for not being cold enough

15. Have to be forcibly removed from car once you’ve returned home

16. Eat lukewarm sandwich

17. Drink Water

18. Curse some more

19. SWEAT

20. Make pallet on porch so you can sleep in the “cooler” air

21. Lie awake worrying about local bear/possum/raccoon/coyotes

22. SWEAT

23. Give up sleeping because you almost piss yourself at every rustle of leaves

24. SWEAT and prepare to repeat!

On those few days when it does rain you should do the following:

1. SWEAT

2. Pray the rains lasts till it’s dark so you can strip down naked and take a “nature shower” on
your porch

3. Sit in doorway and watch rain

4. SWEAT

5. Pray the rain cools it down

6. Give up and try to sleep in your 100 degree bedroom

So now to give you the giggle......... My friend Esther gave me a one use grill, you know the kind, they are made of foil and have charcoal that has been treated....you just light it and let it burn down, then twenty minutes later you have a nice bed of coals to cook on. Anyway, Esther gave me this grill and I had some hot dogs and some canned chili....so I lit the grill, let it burn down, opened the chili and put it on the grill to get warm. Then it began to thunder......and thunder.....and thunder.....and RAIN.

Now for those of you that DON'T realize, charcoal doesn't burn that well in the rain!! So, I, being the crafty little bitch that I am, grabbed my HUGE umbrella, ran out to the yard, opened the umbrella and sat it on the ground with a rock keeping the handle in place, and then I proceeded to cook my chili, grill my hot dogs and eat supper, sitting half under an umbrella in the pouring rain!! Necessity really IS the Mother of invention!!

We were FINALLY able to get ice about a week after the lights went out. That made it possible to actually KEEP some lunch meat and stuff cold!! Let me tell you, lunch meat that has sat in the cooler for two hours smells SO much better than ANY type of meat that has been in the heat (well over 100 for five days in a row) for ANY length of time!!!

WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR LUNCH MEAT HAS GONE "OFF":

1. Smells much like your oldest sons tennis shoes after a long, hot game of basketball

2. Cats try to hork up a furball instead of tasting

3. Dogs gag at the scent

Now I NEVER had any of the above happen during this entire ordeal, but then again, I didn't buy more than a few pieces of lunch meat at a time....it was one of those One Meal At A Time Purchase things for me! It was expensive, but I didn't have to listen to the cats horking!!

On the serious side, I want to personally thank the Emergency responders here in Calhoun County, as well as the Head of the Emergency Management Team, Kathy Wood. I would also like to say thank you to the men and woman of the National Guard who delivered water and MRE's to people in the outlaying area. Without all of those wonderful people, who gave of their time and energy and worked tirelessly to make sure the citizens of this county were safe, many people would have lost their lives! Days of 100 plus temps, no water or food would have killed more than a few of us!!

Thank you all and God Bless you!!

Dodadaghovi