It's the middle of the night and I am awake. Not sure why, but then again, there are many things in my life that I'm not sure of the why.
So, it's almost June. It seems like this year just began a few days ago and now it's just about one half over. Where does time go? Does each second of our lives just exist at that one brief period of time, or is time a "relative" thing? Do we just sleepwalk through days that are merely a blink of the eye, or do we live in each and every moment?
I like to think that I actually "live" in each and every moment. I try to take notice of things that I used to take for granted. I notice and enjoy Pattywack's purr when he's trying to trip me because I let the bottom of the food bowl show. I notice and appreciate the feel of Bitty's fur against my hand. I enjoy the songs of the goofy birds around here who seem to have their days and nights mixed up.
Things like the taste of the first cup of tea in the morning, or the feel of my favorite pj's against my skin have become more and more important to me. I'm not sure why, but everything just seems more enjoyable, or irritating depending on the situation, than ever before.
Maybe it's because this is my 1/2 century mark. Or maybe it's because I have faced the fact that I am mortal. Or maybe it's just drug flashbacks and I don't realize it. It doesn't really matter why things have become more important and noticeable to me, what matters is that it has happened. And that I realize it has happened.
When I wake up in the mornings I take a moment to just enjoy being. When I try to torture a melody from the strings of my fiddle, I enjoy the sound and the effort that it takes. When I cook a good meal, I enjoy the smell, feel and taste of the food. And when I sit here and put these thoughts down for others to see, I enjoy the thought that there's a chance that someone out there somewhere in the big, wide world, understands what I am trying to say.
I guess it comes down to the fact that I am enjoying life. Or maybe I just need to go back to bed.