Thursday, December 30, 2010

Brrrr....cold, damp....brrrrrr

I'm sitting here looking at the photos on my wall - all of which I have taken and then "done" something to. (Damn, that makes me sound like some type of photography psycho/rapist/serial killer) I must admit, I'm getting pretty good at the photo thing -YES, that is me contorting myself into the shape of a pretzel in order to pat myself on the back.

Anyway......I'm sitting here when it dawns on my that I hate the cold! Now- those of you that live close realize that it IS 46 degrees - and 46 degrees is NOT that cold. But it's damp. Not just damp - it's seep into your bones and make everything feel brittle and just yucky damp.

There are a few things about he cold that are good - but then again, I can usually find at least one good thing in any situation. But anyway - good things about the cold.

1.) Cold prolongs the shelf life of milk. Sounds simple, right? Everyone knows that cold - not freezing, just cold - keeps milk fresh. But DOES IT REALLY? Yeah, it keeps it liquid, no nasty chunks or funky oily stuff on top. So that's fresh, right? If so, why aren't cows kept cold? (Just asking, don't expect an answer) And it confuses me that milk is warm when it comes out and we call it fresh. It's cold when we buy it - and we call it fresh. And when it's chunky we call it spoiled. So, what about "clabbered milk"? Is it fresh? I could go on, but you get the idea.

2.) Really cold keeps ice cream solid! (Brilliant, aren't I?) Solid ice cream is good - especially Butter Pecan! Although butter, pecans and liquid cream isn't so good. Don't ask, you really don't want to know and you probably wouldn't believe me anyway!

3.) Cold gives us an excuse to have "hat hair". Not that hat hair is good - it's not. But it does serve as an awesome excuse for those days that your hair just won't behave or when you're just too lazy to "do" something to it.

4.) Cold makes it easy to tell if we are still breathing.

Well- that's about it. I guess I could say something about sweaters - but I just did, so we'll leave it alone.

Now for the downfalls of the cold. In my opinion there is really only one - Cold winters are, have been and always will be the downfall of civilized life. People are just not nice in the cold.

Ii know there are those of you who "LOVE" winter. All I can say to you is, I'd pay for your therapy if I could afford to do so. I know you're not bad people, most of you are nice. I just don't understand what a person could enjoy about wet socks, red noses, chattering teeth and numb fingers. It's hard to be attractive when you're bundled up like the Michelin man.

Wet socks make your shoes stink!

Red noses are NOT a fashion statement!

Chattering teeth are fine if you are a squirrel!

And numb fingers make it difficult to type.

That being said, I'm going to go curl up in front of the heater - as soon as I move the cats out of the way- and wish for Spring to hurry up!



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