Wednesday, May 4, 2011

It's Spring! It's Spring????

So, it's the 4th day of May and it's all of 50 degrees outside. And wet. And windy. And muddy.

So this is Spring? Hmmmmmmm, perhaps someone could explain why we had 90 degree days in March and April and now that it's May it's only 50. We've had days that were so beautiful, when the sun shined so brightly and the air felt so fresh that it was almost impossible to stay inside.

Now, however, it's cold, wet, windy and muddy. It's suppose to be in the 30's tonight. The 30's!!!!!

Is there some type of medication that we can give to old Mother Nature in order to control her schizophrenia? Or maybe get her laid so she'll lighten up?

Sorry, that was uncalled for, but damn, I'm really tired of not knowing if I should put away the winter clothes or just leave them out and toss in a few pair of shorts as a "just in case".

Should I put away the quilts and pray that it's not snowing when I wake up, shivering and cold in my bed?

Should I pack away the coats, only to be caught out in the 30 degree cold in a t-shirt and shorts?

I mean, come on, it IS May after all. Shouldn't I be able to at least decide to put the bulky goose-down coat in the coat bag and hang it at the back of the closet?

Apparently the answer to all of those, and many more, questions is a loud, echoing NO, YOU CAN'T!!!

Did I tell you that I LOVE wind-chimes? (Yeah, I know, abrupt change of subject is the sign of a sick mind.)

Well, I do! I LOVE all wind-chimes! Metal ones, glass ones, wooden ones, ugly ones, pretty ones and surprisingly odd ones too! Any combination that when touched by the gentle breeze that SHOULD be blowing across my porch make the assorted tinkling, chiming, dinging, pealing sound that causes my soul to take a moment just to listen.

Now, that being said, please allow me to say a few things about wind-chimes and wind.

Living on the ridge as I do, I get a nice breeze most of the time. But, since Mother Nature has gone off of her rocker, I have been getting a blasting roar of wind that is intent on knocking over trash cans while turning their lids into flying saucers of death, pushing trees over so that their roots glare at us like dead eyed sharks washed up after an oil spill and rattling my wind-chimes so they make sounds that remind you of a tortured animal caught in a painful trap.

Yes, I have begun to hate my wind-chimes, not only my wind-chimes but the wind-chimes of my neighbors as well. The once lulling sounds that these wonderful inventions sang out over the hillside has become the tortured screams of wood and metal being beaten by the gales of vengeful wind that buffets our homes, our bodies and vicariously our minds.

In just a little while I have to bolster my courage and venture outside. I will dodge the flying dagger of death that is the small twigs and limbs being ripped from the surrounding trees, I will duck the whipping papers that will be grabbed and tossed at me in a feeble attempt to keep me trapped in my house. I will dodge seemingly harmless potholes that are now filled with clammy scum covered water, I will fight my way through mud that will grab at my shoes with every intention of ripping them from my poor tired feet, I will lean into the wind and fight my way off of the hill. All in order to simply get out of my house and away from the tortured screams of the surrounding wind-chimes.

While I'm out today I'm going to investigate what types of medication we can get for Mother Nature. She and Old Man Winter need to come to an agreement and allow us poor hapless humans to get on with our lives without the interference of sleet, hail, wind, tornadoes, rain, floods, mud and flying debris!

Well, I'm going to go slip into a nice hot bath, more for the warmth than to actually get clean (I'm not that dirty to start with, but DAMN I'm cold!!). Then I will get dressed and venture outside, hopefully to safely return in a few hours.

Be good y'all. And stay on the down side of the wind!



Sandra said...

Yes I'm saying the same thing about my clothes,one day t-shirts next day sweatshirts and sweat pants !!!

Anonymous said...

Mother Nature is on her tangent up here, too! I have a closet full of t-shirts, sweaters and everything in between b/c I never know what the weather is going to be like! It's driving me insane!

Anonymous said...