An additional Sunday post....with venting

This is an additional Sunday post because something has me upset.

I write about a lot of things on this blog.  I do nonsensical things, I express some of my opinions, I let y'all know what is going on in my little corner of the world, I post pictures and links to other things.  

The last few days I have been leaving little things about each day of the week.  I've been doing this because I wanted to make my giveaway a little more interesting.  I thought it would be fun.

I've been getting a few more comments than usual, and I usually enjoy that.  I've always had this set up so that anyone could comment and it would post right then.  I haven't moderated comments, I have been trusting that the people that choose to read what I write are adults for the most part and have some respect for others.

I've been mistaken.

Tonight when I got home from the "pound party" that was part of the Women's meeting at my church I found the following post.

Anonymous said...

I think you need something to talk about, so how about this; What is the difference between being depressed and being angry? The lack of passion?and,
What church do you attend? and why?

It upset me.  Why you ask?  Well, I addressed it in my reply to the anonymous comment.  Here is my reply:

Dear anonymous,
I'm sorry you feel the need to tell me what I should and should not talk about on my own blog. If you had been reading for the last few days you could have figured out that all of the things about the days of the week are leading up to a few questions that I am going to post for my giveaway.
As for the rest of it, it's for a personal conversation, not a public blog.
I am changing the setting on the comments because of receiving comments such as this, so from now on EVERYONE will have to leave their name.
Sorry.

I thought I was pretty clear in expressing myself.  Well, I thought so until I sat down and really started thinking about what "anonymous" has done.

Whoever "anonymous" is, and I have my own ideas as to who you are, they have not only upset me, but they have tried to dictate to me as to what I should and should not write about.  I know this person is not anyone with whom I share emails on a daily basis, or anyone with whom I have conversations with very often.  I know this person is not someone who is of major importance in my personal life.  

How do I know this you ask.   Well, quite simply, the people that are of a major importance in my life realize what a struggle I have been having with my Faith.  They are not so blind that they don't realize that the "anonymous" comment would/will/has caused me to question myself.  My friends/family/loved ones realize that becoming a Christian hasn't been "simple" for me, it has been/is a long hard struggle for me for reason that I refuse to get into in a public forum.

I also realize that "anonymous" isn't any of my sister bloggers.  I realize that the women who write the blogs that I visit on a regular basis are a kind, supportive, loving bunch of people, and that they are Christian and non-Christian and accept me for who/what I am.  I don't have daily contact with them, but I read about their thoughts, feelings, ideas, joys, sorrows and the things happening in their lives, just as they read mine.  We, strangers who may never meet in real life, support each other and are supported by each other.  I know none of these wonderful women would leave such a rude and demanding post.

So that leaves a very few other people.

I have a few other things to say to "anonymous" whoever you are.  They are not "nice" things, they are not "proper" things, they may not even be "Christian" things, but they are TRUE things.

So here they are:

anonymous,

You obviously think that I'm boring, you as much as said so when you said "I think you need something to talk about".  If I bore you there is a very simple solution, DON'T READ MY BLOG!

Apparently you are having some issues of your own, as you questioned "What is the difference between being depressed and being angry? The lack of passion?".  SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR YOUR PROBLEMS.  I am NOT a therapist, I am NOT here to address your emotional issues or help you to seek enlightenment for your "lack of passion".

You must think you know me pretty well since you asked "What church do you attend? and why?", so you should have my email address or phone number.  If you had called or emailed me I would have gladly told you and explained why.  But since you obviously don't have the balls to do that, it's obvious that you DO NOT know me well enough to broach the subject with me.

And lastly, since you were so brave and strong in your opinions and questions, why were you not  brave and strong enough to leave you name?  Are you afraid that I would contact you personally to say what I've been reduced to saying here?  Or are you just a coward?

Anyway, enough of that.

For those of you reading this who actually have names, thanks for letting me vent!  I really needed it.  I had a wonderful day today, great service at Church and a very comfortable, fun Women's meeting at B.'s house.  (BTW a "pound party" is where you bring a pound of something for the household to the party.)  It was really a shame to allow this comment to ruin the evening, so that is why I decided to post this.

I apologize for having to change my comment settings.  I hope it doesn't cause any of you any problems.  But this isn't the first comment that I have received that has caused upset and I refuse to have any more.

Have a wonderful, blessed night.

T

Sunday, a day of rest.....

Morning y'all.

Today is Sunday, known to some as a day of rest.  Sunday is considered the seventh day of the week by some, and by others it is considered the first day.  For me Sunday is the seventh day.

The word Sunday is derived from Sunnandæg, which literally means "sun's day".   In German Sunday is Sonntag.  

Old Mother Goose has this to say of those born on Sunday, "And the child that is born on the Sabbath day, Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay."  Seems Mother Goose appreciated Sundays.

It's only a few minutes into Sunday for me, as I am writing this just after midnight.  For me Sunday means getting up, eating a little something or at the very least having a cup of tea, talking to a person or two on the phone,  getting showered and trying to get to Church.  Notice I say "trying"?  Well, for the last two weeks it seems as though something always gets in my way. This Sunday though I'm going no matter what.

I'm sure some of you have noticed a change in the way I'm posting things.  Not many funny animal stories, and no pictures lately.  Well, I've been trapped in the house because of the weather and haven't had the opportunity to take many pictures, except of the animals.  And, because I'm trapped here, the animals have been locked up inside most of the time also, so things that were funny have become aggravating over the period of several weeks.  I'm sure once things get back to normal I've have tales to tell and pictures to share.

I've also been trying to not complain so much.  I've decided that it doesn't do any good, so why bother....no not really, I've just decided that I won't do that much anymore.  No reason to burden other's with my problems when they have plenty of their own.

Well, I'll stop in after Church and leave y'all a note.

Have a Blessed Day!!

Here's another giveaway for you to enter!

Hi y'all!

Everyone knows that I'm CRAZY about giveaways.  Well, while I was out "surfing" the blogs I found this one and it's lovely!!

Kim over at Notes From The Homestead is having a Valentine's giveaway.  And that's not all, for everyone that enters she is giving $1 to the Red Cross to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti. 

So head on over to Notes From The Homestead and enter her giveaway.  Even if you don't win you will be helping people who need our help very badly.

This is a direct link to the giveaway. (Just click on the word "this".)

Later y'all!

Saturday oh Saturday!

Good Morning y'all.  I'm late with my post this morning, but sometimes things happen.

Anyway, it's 34.8 degrees in Old Calhoun County this morning, with a humidity of 83%.  The humidity things makes no sense to me, it's a misty rain out there, not a lot, but enough to get the pups fur wet, and the humidity is only 83%??

Today is Saturday!  Saturday is the sixth day of the week, and was named for the planet Saturn.  In some religious practices, Saturday is the Sabbath Day.  And for many people around the world, Saturday is a fast day.

In German Saturday is known as Samstag or Sonnabend, depending on what German speaking country you are from.  

Old Mother Goose says "Saturdays child works hard for his living".  Ain't that the truth?? For me, Saturday is housework day!!  Yes  y'all, today I do the bi-weekly chores, the everyday chores, the weekly chores and anything else that I see needs to be done.  It's also the day I brush out all the furry children living in my house (like the squirmy little white dog on my lap right now).

Don't forget that we are just 4 days away from seeing what the giveaway will be.   I'm sure y'all are going to like it!!

Now, there is a favor I would like to ask.  I realize that many of you are in the same financial position as I am, but there was a horrible fire at the Richie County Animal Shelter a few days ago.  A total of 65 dogs and cats lost their lives.  All of the food and supplies for the shelter were lost as well.  The shelter is in desperate need of funds.  Please if there is anything you can do, click on the widget below and donate what you can.

If your near Harrisville WV and would like to foster one of the surviving animals, please click  Richie County Animal Shelter and let them know.  They are in desperate need and many of the surviving animals need our help.

Thanks y'all.

Well, I'm off to search blog land for a while and then on to my Sonnabend chores.

Bye y'all!

Friday, Friday, It's finally Friday

Good Morning youngins.

It's all of 38 degrees in Old Calhoun County this morning, with a humidity of 60%.  Just a few days have passed and we seem to be having a heat wave since the 4 degree nights.  Don't ya just love winter??

Today is Friday.  Friday is the fifth day of the week.  Some people say that Friday was named for Frigga, who was Odin's wife and also the Queen of the Gods.  Other people say that Friday was named for Freya, the Goddess of Love.  And still other people say they were one and the same.  I think Friday was named for love for the simple fact that the Roman name for Friday was Dies Veneris or Day of Venus.  Venus was also the Roman Goddess of Love.

Where ever Friday got it's name, I'm glad it's finally here.

In German Friday is Am Freitag.  According the Old Mother Goose, "Fridays child is loving and giving", yet another reason to believe that Friday was named for Love.

So, enough of that, on to other things.

The giveaway.  Now that's a topic.  LOL

Has anyone else figured out that there are clues that will help you get extra entries in each of the last three, including this one, posts?  Well, if you haven't figured that out, let me explain.  Since I announced that I was having a giveaway, I have been posting different little tidbits about the days of the week.  Come next Wednesday, I will post a picture of what I am giving away along with how you can enter the contest.  It will be simple I promise.  But, in order to get the extra entries there will be several questions, nothing you need to study for or anything, just a couple of simple questions.  You will receive 2 extra entries for each question you get right!  So stay tuned each day for another post that will have more clues for you.

Are you confused yet??  Don't be, I swear I won't make it too difficult for anyone to enter.

Okay, enough!  I'm off to try to climb into bed, of course I mean try because I'll have to move several little fuzzy creatures first.  You know, it just amazes me how something so small can take up so much space, especially under nice warm covers in the winter.   Hmmmmm, that's something I must try and figure out, how can a cat, especially, take up an area more than twice his body size when he lays on my bed........

Night, night, y'all.

A good EARLY morning, y'all

Well, it's a quarter after 1 in the morning and I'm still awake.  I've been busy cleaning and rearranging things in the kitchen, so I'm a little wound up.

Anyway, GOOD MORNING!!  Sorry, didn't mean to shout.  LOL  Anyway, it's a brisk (that's a joke) 16.9 degrees in old Calhoun County.  Our humidity is 74% and with the wind chill it feels like it's 10 degrees.  Tomorrow (Thursday) it's suppose to get all the way to 45 degrees!  WOW a heat wave......should I look for my shorts??

Since it is already Thursday, I guess I'll share a little bit of knowledge (aka trivia) with y'all.  Thursday was named for the Norse God Thor.  In Danish Thursday is Torsdag.  Thursday is the fifth day of the week.

Old Mother Goose has this to say about anyone born on Thursday, "Thursday's child has far to go".  Once again I don't think it's a very good thing to tell a child born on Thursday that they have far to go......hmmmm, although it could mean they would travel a lot.  Let's pretend that's what the meaning is instead of they have to work really hard to get anywhere.

Okay, there's your lesson for today, now on to other things.

I've been listening to music as I clean.  One song in particular has played several times and I'm beginning to wonder about the underlying meaning.  The song is "Too busy being fabulous" by The Eagles.  For those of you that haven't heard it before, it's a song about things lost because a woman was too busy being "fabulous" meaning she was running around to parties and hob-nobbing with celebs.

This song has played so much tonight that I wonder if maybe there's a message in it.   It makes me wonder how many of God's Blessings I miss by being too busy to notice.  Or how many of God's Blessings other people I know are missing because of their busy lives or, in some cases, their running around the bars and trying to be something that they are not.  A friend of mine just had a terrible breakup because she couldn't stay home, or be home when she said she would be, because she was running around with people that she thought were important.  Now she knows what is really important.  Now that it's gone.

I know I've been too busy to notice a lot of things lately.  I've not taken time to walk, mainly because it's been so cold.  But even in the bitter cold there are blessings.  I should have been out there noticing them.  I should have taken time.

I've also been too stubborn to notice some things.  I know I have, and I'm working on that, but let me tell you, it's not easy.  If I could just slow down and not get so wound up over stuff, I know there are wonderful things that I would see.

Anyway, that's the latest thought bouncing around in my twisted mind.  Hope you didn't mind the fact that I bounced it out there for y'all to see.

Blessings y'all.

Happy Wednesday

Well, it's Wednesday here in Old Calhoun County.  It's all of 19 degrees, with humidity of 83%.  It's suppose to get to 35 degrees today, I sure hope that it does, although I'm not looking forward to the mud from the melting snow.

So, it's Wednesday.  Wednesday is the day smack dab in the middle of the week.  As a matter of a fact, the German name for Wednesday is Mittwoch which literally means "mid-week".  Lots of people call today hump-day because if you get over the "hump" of Wednesday it's all down hill to the weekend.   According to good Old Mother Goose, "Wednesday's child is full of woe."  (now that's a wonderful thing to tell a child.  A nursery rhyme that denotes the woe you will have your whole life long if you were born on Wednesday!)

Anyway, it's Wednesday and I'm just trying to get through the rest of the week.  The reason I'm excited that it's Wednesday is that there's only 3 days left until we start all over again.  Eeeeehaw.

Okay, enough lessons.  Besides, I have a little secret to share with y'all.

I've gone past my 100th post now, for those of you that haven't noticed.  And because of this accomplishment, I've decided to do a little something special for my bloggy friends.

Here in the next week, yes friends the next seven days, I will be having a give a way.  I'm not quite sure of how I'm going to do it, or even what I'm going to give to one of you lucky few that reads this rambling monologue.  But I promise it will be something nice, and probably something that I myself have made with my own two little hands.

So stay tuned for details.  I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

Bye, bye for now.  I'll try to stop in later.

Blessings.

Beautiful afghan and bowl filler giveaway

Donna, over at One Simple Country Girl, is giving away a beautiful white afghan and three heart bowl fillers.  If you haven't already checked out her site please go on over.  The link for the give away is One Simple Country Girl.  

Donna is a very gifted crafts person and she has wonderful prim inspirations on her blog as well.

Good luck everyone!!

Blessings. 

Sign giveaway!

Over at Irish Corkies Primitives Amy is having a giveaway!  She is giving one of her wonderful prim signs to the winner.

All you have to do is click on Irish Corkies Primitives and follower her.   Please go check her site out and tell her I sent you! She's such a talented lady!!

Good Luck everyone!!

Blessings!

A Valentine's giveaway!

Here is a lovely give a way over at Harvest Moon Primitives.  It is a lovely prim cupboard hanger.  If you are interested in entering just click on the link.

Good luck to everyone!!

Ginger give-a-way

Hi ya'll!

Just wanted to let you know that Willa over at The Old Cupboard Door is having a ginger giveaway!

Just click on "ginger giveaway" to be directed to the page you need to see.  This little ginger is lovely and she sure would be cute in any kitchen....but especially mine!  LOL

Go check Willa's stuff out, she's so talented it's not funny!

Good luck to all who enter!!

Blessings!

Post number 97!

Good morning y'all!!

Can you believe it, this is my 97th post!!  It sure doesn't seem possible.  It seems as though it was just a few weeks ago that I started sharing my thoughts and ramblings online.  I didn't think many people would read them, but I didn't really care either.  LOL  Sounds like me doesn't it?

For a while it seemed that no one was paying attention to what this crazy woman in West Virginia was thinking about, or writing about, or going through.  Now, well now I get emails, comments and phone calls on an almost daily basis asking if I'm going to post something, or if I'm okay, or just to say something about what ever it was that I last rambled about.  It's kind of nice.

I haven't been doing the picture thing the last week or so.  It's been so cold here that just the thought of going outside to get a photo of even more snow makes not only me tired, but the batteries in my camera just drain down to nothing as well.  So I've been playing around with some of the photos I have taken recently (New Years Eve) and doing some of this and some of that with them. 

I was going to share some of them with y'all, but apparently Blogger doesn't think I should do that because it's sure not letting me upload them.  As soon as I can get them to upload, I will post them for you.

Anyway, today was a bitter sweet day.  My youngest daughter, Niki, came over for "lunch".  Notice the quotes?  Well, I had cooked a ham, thinking that she was coming over for dinner.  But, she had to head back to school earlier than we thought and we ended up eating a big meal for lunch.  

It was so nice to spend some time with her.  She is such a strangely wonderful person.  I don't know if I should take credit for the strange part or if I should take blame.  But so far it seems to have served her well, so I guess I'll choose the "credit" tag.  LOL  Anyway, this semester is going to be kind of rough for her.  She's taking either 18 credit hours or else 24!!  Can you believe that?  Second semester at college and taking 24 credit hours!!  But I'm sure she can do it, she's just that type of person.  She sets her mind and, although she may wander around for a bit, she ends up at her goal.

I'm so proud of her!!

Saying that makes me wonder if my other kids realize how proud of them I am?  My oldest daughter, Shanna, is the mother of four.  She, her husband and their children live just outside Warrensburg MO.  Her next to the youngest son has Cerebral Palsy.  He's doing really well though and he's so ornery that it's not funny.  But then again, all of her children are and I wouldn't expect anything less, seeing as how their mother was the one that thought things for her little brothers to do, and I don't mean little things, I mean "OMG, can you believe he did that?" things!

My oldest son, Tim, lives in GA with his wife and three sons.  Right now he's having a hard way to go as the company he worked for is closing and his hours have been cut, cut, cut.  He's taking the classes to work at Kia though, and hopefully he'll get a job there.  He's thinking of taking his Fireman's training also.  Now that scares me to death!!  He's the one that did things like cut that little flap of skin under his tongue because he thought it "looked funny and shouldn't be there".  Needless to say between his sister and he life was "interesting"!!  

My youngest son, Will aka BJ, lives in OH with his new wife.  They were married in Oct, as some of you may remember.  He just signed with a promoter and is doing what he loves, which is music!!  I've listed links to his videos before, but if you have missed them just follow this link and you'll be able to watch/hear his band.  (he's the lead guitar/singer)

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'm proud of my children.  They are individuals, each and every one of them.  But I raised them to be, so they definitely haven't disappointed me.  

I guess in a way being a mother, especially a single mother, is a job that entails great sacrifice and even greater rewards.  And it's a job that last for a lifetime, literally.  My children aren't technically "children" anymore.  They are all adults with their own lives, their own joys, their own sorrows and, for the two oldest, their own children.  They have day to day struggles that I know they think I don't understand.  But I do understand.  Not only do I understand, but their struggles are my struggles as well.

I don't tell my kids everything that is going on in my life.  It's not that I am trying to protect them or anything, it's just that I realize they don't need to worry about Mom on top of everything else.  Mom was, is and will be a constant in their lives as long as I draw breath.  I hope they know that.

Anyway, enough of that!  I'm getting all sentimental and stuff and that's not what I want to do tonight.

It's all of 4 degrees here right now and I'm thinking about how nice and warm I'll be curled up under the covers with my breathing foot-warmers.  (yeah, they are already there and I know I'll have to fight with them to get them to actually warm my feet and not my back, legs, chest and face or try to keep them from stealing all the covers leaving me literally out in the cold.  LOL)  Believe it or not, it's suppose to actually get colder than just 4!!  Then by Thursday it's suppose to be at least 47 degrees with rain!!! Don't ya just love winter??

Okay, enough complaining.  I'm going to sign off and go fight for my covers!  Maybe tonight they will take pity on me and let me win.

Stay warm y'all!

Blessings

Brrrrrr......

Well, another cold day has come and gone.  And now the cold night has set in, settling down among the trees and bushes like a cold, wet blanket of black wool.

I've been doing the same ol' same ol'.  In other words, I haven't left the house except to take the dogs out and check the mail, which by the way, didn't run today......kind of makes you wonder about that old saying about rain, snow, hail, etc.......must not apply to single digit temperatures. 

I've been listening to the Audio Bible and to various and sunder music.  I've also been napping more than an old worn out barn cat, and eating like a bear about to hibernate.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to go out into the world just yet, but I feel better than I did a week ago.  Maybe tomorrow...if it's not 10 degrees or less outside.  Or then again, maybe not.  I just don't know.

I have so many things that I have to do.  I need to get the kitchen re-arranged, and finish cleaning the floor and the dishes I dirtied making dog treats.  I have to sweep and mop the bathroom, straighten up the utility room, dust, vacuum, clean the computer room and straighten up the bedroom.  I've been doing a little bit every day, but having pets sort of make it a loss cause unless you do more than a little bit.  So tonight I'm going to go to bed early, well, early for me, try and get a good night's sleep and get up in the morning and really do some things that I've been putting off or just plain ignoring.

I looked outside a little bit ago.  The snow looks like glass chips, and the road looks like a sheet of glass.  I'm so glad that it's almost over, or so says the weather report.  Just a few more days and then we'll have temperatures that are above freezing!!  Just a few more days.  But then again, when do the weather men know the mind of GOD?  Perhaps they can predict what they think is going to happen, but it's in GOD'S hands.

That's something I have finally excepted.  Everything is in GOD'S hands.  

There are so many times that I realize that GOD had been trying to get my attention.  Nothing like a booming voice from the sky or anything, but simple things, things like a kind word or deed from someone I didn't know, or that gentle, quiet voice that I refused to listen to for so very long.  I have come to realize that I have been given so many blessings, and I have wasted so very many of them.  I have been blind, I have been lost.  Now I am trying to find my way back.  And it's a long, hard journey with many obstacles in my way.  Many of the things I have done in the past are rearing up and causing me to have doubts.  Many of the people that I had counted on have either turned their backs or else demanded something from me that I am unable to give right now.  And I won't lie, I miss those people.  But I can't allow anything to get between me and what I am trying to do.  If I allow that now I will be lost forever.

It's really easy to say you believe something.  It's easy to pay lip service to faith.  But the act of living by what you believe, of giving up things that you may want simple because they are not things that you need at this point in time.  I believe that is the true test of faith.  Having to decide that something is not right for you, no matter how much easier it would make your life, or how easy it would be to do, and then NOT doing that thing.  Well, that is very hard.  It's inconvenient.  To choose to do what you feel is right sometimes makes your situation more difficult.

It would be easy for me to allow someone else to take care of me.  It wouldn't be right, but it would be easy.  And I will admit that at another point in my life I would have allowed it.  But now, well now it seems like the last thing I need to do.  I can't be do what I would have to be in order to allow anyone else "take care" of me.  I can't be who I need to be.  I have to do this myself.  I have to allow myself the time and the space to continue to grow and learn.

So I spend most of my time at home, alone and sometimes very sad.  But other times, oh the other times I am so joyful that I can't sit still.  I am facing the lose of some things that are important to me.  I may even lose my internet connection and not be able to post anything anymore, and believe me, this is important to me.  But I will be okay.  It will be okay if I don't have  phone, or tv, or internet.  It will be okay if I can't go and do the things I would like to do.  I will be okay.

I will be okay with GOD'S love comforting me and keeping me safe.

Goodnight y'all.

Cold morning, snowy days.....

Good morning everyone!!  It's early in the morning and as much I as would like to say it, it's not bright!

It's still dark as midnight outside, and it's C*O*L*D!!!!  The temp says it's  all of 10 degrees!!  And the forecast says it will be colder as the days go by!!  Doesn't that sound like fun??

We've had snow since yesterday afternoon, but it's finally stopped for a little bit.  There's probably 4 inches or so out there, although it's too darn cold for me to go out and measure....maybe when the sun actually comes out and I can fool myself into thinking it's warmed up.

The one thing about the snow is that everything looks really fresh and clean.  Even the leaf bare limbs of the trees look fresh and new this morning.   The yard no longer looks dead and dry, and the mailboxes are pretty....even my old ratty one!

The pups weren't too excited about going out this morning.  As a matter of a fact, all of them looked at me like I had lost my mind when I mentioned it!!  But who can blame them?  I don't want to go out either.  Anyway, the pooches are curled up under the covers all nice and warm.  I, however, am sitting here typing away, feeling a bit chilly and wondering why I'm up.

Perhaps it's the dream I was having.  It was an odd one, but then again, what do you expect from the likes of me?  It's not that anything exciting was happening in my dream or anything....it was a dream about receiving email, that's not at all exciting.  Although the emails were notifications that I had gotten comments on my blog, so that did make it a bit exciting.

So, I don't guess y'all want to hear me ramble, and my feet, as well as my tea, are getting cold.  SO I think I'll crawl back under the covers and not re-emerge until the bears tell me that the honey is flowing from the honey tree in the woods....in other words when it's actually warm again!  Yeah right, no such luck.  Soon the phone will be ringing, the dogs will be barking and the cats will be demanding breakfast.  And I'm sure it will happen just as soon as I'm good and sound asleep.

Ahhhh, such is life!!

Comments and emails

I have received a lot of comments, phone calls and emails about my previous post.  I would like to address them here if I may.

Rue said: 
Could you pursue a relationship with your sister now? Although she lives far away, perhaps start with some emails or letters. That is, if you wanted a relationship with her.

Good luck on your journey of faith!

Rue, I would love to have a relationship with her, although I'm not sure that she feels the same way.  I have called many times in the past, about three years ago, and she wouldn't answer or cal me back about any of the messages I left for her.  Now I'm not sure what her phone number is or even where she lives let alone if she has an email address.

Thank you for the well-wishes in my journey.  Blessings.

Anonymous said: 

Where's "KC"? KY?

Don't let your long time friend's statement bother you. Like the e-mails you've been sending The one's that matter will stick around. Friends come and go all the time anyway.

KC is Kansas City.  She lives on the Kansas side.

I've tried very hard, and am still trying, to not let my friend's statement bother me.  But it has made me ponder the fact that she may be very close to the truth in having said it.  There are people that will drift out of my life I am sure.  And I will miss them!

I pass on the emails that my many online friends have sent to me.  I want to thank each and every one of you for the wonderful thoughts, sayings, quotes and pictures that you all have been sending.  Blessings to you all.

As for the calls, well, you know who you are.  All I an say is Thank You! 

I'm glad you liked the post Esther!! It means a lot to me that you do.

So enough of this!!

On with my day!!

Blessings!

New Year's ponderings and ramblings

Hello y'all.  Good to see you back here again.

The other day I was talking to a woman that I have known for years.  We were talking about God and faith and all the trappings that go with it.  When I said that I am trying to become better than I am now, she made a statement that disturbed me.  It still disturbs me.  She said, "Get ready to loose some friends" when I told her that I was going to go back to Church.

Now I would like to say that she is wrong in that statement.  But I wonder if she is.  You see, I have "friends" that believe in many different religions.  Buddhist.  Pagans.  Christians.  Agnostics.  Atheist.  And quite a few that don't know what they believe or even if they believe at all.

I would like to think that all of those people would continue to think of me as a friend even if I do become a Christian.  I would like to think that they wouldn't turn their backs on me because of my beliefs.  But I'm a rational person and I know that some of them, maybe a lot of them, will.  I know that some of them will question my decision and be demanding as to why.  I know some of them will just slip away into the Great Unknown never to be heard of again.  And it makes me sad.

Many of my Pagan friends are "in the closet" as they say.  That means that the people around them don't know what they believe in, or at least they aren't open about what they believe in.  I understand why.   I have been there, and I am still there in many ways.  It's difficult enough to discover your own truths without having people try to shove theirs down your throat.  Or be disrespectful to you because they think you're wrong.  Or try to "save" you by making you believe what they believe.  Or even torment you, paint things on your garage or house, or leave dead birds in your mailbox (all of which I know has happened to someone because it became public knowledge that she was a Pagan).

The thing that I find most disturbing about all of this is that in many ways all of the "religions" have the same basis of believe.  They are all basically good, that is until you mix in the "we're right and we know we're right and anyone that says we're wrong should be shot/burned/hanged/tortured/brain-washed/or whatever.  Believing that there IS a God, by whatever name you call Him/Her/It, and that that God says we should live by certain rules/commandments such as Don't kill, Don't steal, Don't lie, Treat folks like you want to be treated, should be enough to prove that we are more ALIKE than we are different.

The war that we are fighting now, the horrible, bloody war is because of our DIFFERENCES and everyone seems to forget that we are ALL just humans trying to worship as we see fit. (yeah, I know some religions say to kill anyone that don't believe as you do......well, that seems to go against the very basic teachings of those same religions, so I'm confused)  

You know, it's been asked "Why can't we all just get along?"  Well, I don't think it's in Human Nature to "just get along" with people who have the balls to disagree with us.  I think it's part of the "Tree of knowledge" thing in the Bible.  We weren't suppose to be this way.  We were created to be different than we are now and we (humans) screwed it up by being, well, human.

And in the midst of all of this noise, all of this hatred, confusion and grief.  In the middle of all of these people telling us that we are wrong for what we believe, or that we have to belief what they believe or else they will kill us, or even those who are trying to tell us what God is saying to US (which really pisses me off.  When God speaks to someone they don't need for another Human to tell them what He said.) there are people like myself.  People who are just trying to listen and understand what God is saying to us.

Okay, enough of this Crisis of Faith that I'm having and on to other subjects.

As some of you may know, I have a sister that lives in KC.  She is my one and only sibling and she is almost 7 years my junior.  Now, because of the way we were raised (separately), we have never had what could be called a "close" relationship.  Since our Mom passed away nine years ago I have only seen her once and that was at my grandson's funeral.  We don't talk on the phone, email or even write to one another.  I usually don't think about her at all.  But today is different.  Today is her birthday.  She was born 43 years ago today.

So here's to my sister, where ever you are, Happy Birthday.  Hope it's a good one.

Lantern giveaway!!

A Day in the Life is having a giveaway of three beautiful lanterns complete with candles and matches!!  (and she's calling it a "modest" giveaway!)

These lanterns would look lovely on a table, shining brightly through out the long cold and snowy winter nights!!  If you are interested go check it out!!  But be prepared, there's a lot of us that want to win!!  LOL

Blessings!

A beautiful giveaway!

Over at Beneath My Heart Traci is sharing a wonderful giveaway with us.  If you love jewelery and silver is your thing, you should really go and check it out.  The giveaway is for a $75 gift from Lisa Leonard Designs and she has the most beautiful jewelery!!

But you have to hurry.  The deadline is tomorrow (Thursday) night.

Blessings!!

So, what exactly is Cabin Fever??

Some of you may have noticed that I've been gone for a little while....well, over a week actually.  Then again, most of you probably haven't noticed.  But anyway.....

It's not that I've actually been "gone".  I've been home.  I've been in my house pondering things great and small, theories and ideas about life, where I am in my Spiritual growth (don't ask.  I've been told it's "simple", but it's not.....perhaps I am what is simple), and if I even believe in some of the things that I once thought were important.

Now, you would think that with all of that mental workout I could have found a few moments to drop a line here and let the world know I was alive.  Well, here's your line ___________.  Sorry, had to do that, I'm feeling peevish tonight and I don't really want to "communicate" with anyone.  I haven't even read any of my emails in hours and hours.

So, what exactly is Cabin Fever?  Well, I looked it up and Wikipedia says: "Cabin fever is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow)."

So I guess I don't have Cabin Fever.  I am shut up in a small place for an extended amount of time, but it's not like I don't have anything to do.  I've been doing dishes, cleaning walls and carpets, playing with various and sunder fur-demons, reading (a lot), listening to the audio Bible (a real lot) and talking to some people on the phone.  But I'm still losing my mind!!!

You see, it's all of 18 degrees outside and the snow has been coming down, or should I say across, like there is no end in sight.  The wind not only cuts through you, it tries to dice instead of just slice you.  It's so cold the dogs don't even want to play in the snow.  The cat stepped outside and came right back in shaking his head in disgust!  A trip to the mailbox seems like a foot tour of the Arctic Circle! (okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating on that one...but it's damn cold!)

I haven't wanted to sew or craft or write.  I'm sick of television.  I don't want to listen to music (alright y'all, get up off of the floor, dust yourselves off and continue reading) and I'm not really good company even on the phone. I'm not good company for myself! I just don't want to do anything.

So is it depression?  Well, that's possible, although confusion seems to be more the culprit than depression.  I'm confused about everything.  Life.  Love.  Sex.  Religion.  Faith.  Money.  Hell, I'm even confused about food.  I don't want to stay here in the house.  I don't want to go out in the cold.  I don't want to be around people.  I don't want to be alone.  I don't want to listen to music.  I don't want to not have music during the day.

Yeah, confusion.

Part of it is that people are expecting me to do what they think I should do.  I don't like that.  I don't like to be pushed or pressured.  I get resentful when that happens, and then I become a bitch.  I don't like being a bitch.  But I don't like pressure more than I don't like being a bitch.  Which would you choose?  I am having a crisis of sorts and there are some that seem to think it's just something that will be okay if I only.......(insert your own thoughts here).  Well, it's my crisis and I think I should be the one to figure it out and resolve it. 

Now, for those of you that are reading this and think that I'm talking about you.  Well, you may be right.  But don't get upset.  It's not just one person that is pressuring me, there are several.  It's not just one issue that they are pressuring me about, there are several.  Don't go all ego-maniac on me.  If you call me and I don't call you back, perhaps I'm trying to curb my anger and not end up saying something that will make the situation between us worse.  If you email me and I don't answer you right away, perhaps I'm pondering what you've said and trying to make my own decision.  If you come over and I don't invite  you in, perhaps it's because I am not sure what I should or should not say to you, perhaps I don't want to make you angry or hurt you.  Perhaps I just don't want to have your company at that moment.

It seems to me that I should be allowed to have times like this. (Personally I believe that everyone should be allowed to have times like this.  Everyone should be allowed to reevaluate their lives and what they want.)  I should be allowed to wander around with my own thoughts and feeling and try to find peace with them.  After all, I am a woman of age,  I live on my own and I have for years, I can read and write and not only that I can THINK for myself!  I'm capable of being alone.  I'm capable of having relationships with people, all sorts of relationships.  I am competent. 

Anyway.  I've bitched and moaned long enough.  I think I'll try and get some sleep.  Maybe the snow will have magically disappeared when I wake up (yeah right) and maybe I'll have to dig out my shorts and halter tops in order to go get the stupid toilet paper that I forgot the last time I was out.  (I am so indebted to whoever invented facial tissues that don't have dye or perfume in them.  Those tissues can save you in a time of need.)  Or maybe I'll wake up and it will be all of 10 degrees and the snow will be blowing and swirling around and I'll bundle up and go to the Family Dollar store in order to get said stupid toilet paper.

You can bet that if I bundle up and go I'll be day-dreaming of bright warm days, blooming flowers and sunshine.

Goodnight y'all.