Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Good Afternoon!

Good afternoon. I am having a day today, so this post might end up being a rant.....don't know for sure yet!!

Have any of you noticed that we all seem to have that little voice buried deep inside of our not so sub-conscious that tries its' very best to keep us from becoming homicidal idiots?? It's a good thing that we have that voice, it's an even better thing that MOST of us listen to that voice.

The thing is, my voice is either losing its' mind or else it has just given up the fight to keep me from committing homicide with a horsehair paint brush and a round toothpick! You see, I've begun amusing myself by trying to come up with ever more creative ways of doing away with the idiots that run our local hospital.....or should that be pre-morgue way station?? Anyway, I'm proud to say that I've gotten rather creative in my mental murders.....everything from the common, run of the mill beating them to death with their own stethoscopes, to the more creative seeing how many rectal thermometers can be shoved up their ass before they began begging for mercy. (No that's not the most creative, that one is wayyyyy too graphic for me to post publicly. They'd cart me away for that one!!!)

Anyway, while I waste precious hours from my already shortening life waiting in a room full of hacking, coughing, sniffling, sneezing, walking Swine Flu infections I have to find something amusing to do....they've gotten rid of the magazines in the waiting room, something about them being too full of germs to be in a public sitting one seems to think the walking infections are too full of germs to be of any harm, but the Ladies Home Journal is a real serial killer!!

So, this is where the little voice comes in handy. Instead of getting up and going ballistic on the coughers and snifflers, I sit there, trying not to breathe, and let my inner Hannibal go wild!! Instead of cutting people up and serving them for dinner, my little Hannibal does horrible things to them with speculums and tongue depressors!! What a way to die, having a speculum put where a Q-tip should be or having a tongue depressor enema!!

Hmmmm, maybe I'm at the wrong type of clinic. Maybe I should be at a mental health clinic instead of a medical clinic. Or maybe they should just put the damn magazines back in the waiting room!


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